(Funny how it started…)
You met me in a club when I thought I was cool.
You liked this DJ joker and MC fool.
You danced off your pants, I wanted a snog.
I looked at your assets, when you went to the bog.
If only we’d known just what we’d begun.
I squeezed your boobs you patted my bum.
I was warming my fingers, avoiding the mingers.
Couldn’t believe I was feeling a Ginger!
Hmm…. wandered if your pubes were red.
Pondered if I was drunk and what lay ahead.
Nights ends on “Welcome to the terror dome”
I didn’t have no car, couldn’t walk you home.
You liked Veggie food, I liked your kebabs.
I wanted to taste them alone in your flat.
Just a small wait, but enough, a few days.
And I was so grateful for all that you gave.
Only 19 and my thoughts were pure dirty.
You were 26 and shagged me through mercy!

(Now things are getting’ cosy….
We’re going down the pub and regular dates.
I hate your parents you hate my mates.
I went straight for your record collection.
Pulling out my long erection selections.
Nights of pleasure, most days, same story.
Waking up with you and my morning glory.
Shagging in the park other public places.
I sat on your lap, you sat on my face,. Its
Crazy looking back, did it ever go wrong?
You seemed perfect, even liked my crap songs.
Our tongues entwined, our souls did too.
Battered whilst bonking, bruised black and blue.
Ah good times, and did we smoke some pot.
Started to enjoy watching Top of the Pops.
Stayed in watched TV and fell out in shops.
You played with my mind I played with my cock.
Life got tiring but we muddle through it.
Laughing at love, man, “that’s the way to do it”
I’m a weird piece of sh.. Don’t get what you see.
But I’m Ruf and I’m free. You don’t wanna know me.

You didn’t like me then and I don’t like you now.
You call me a dick, I call you a cow.
Don’t like me singing, just like me a rapper.
You think I’m easy, we both know we’re slappers.
I need to go further, please come and prick tease.
It’s good to be hard but it’s touching my knees.
So please, get down and meet Mr long.
It’s good and it’s tasty so what if it pongs.
It’s natural, factual, only knob cheese.
You can’t cook it, but funk it, least it don’t bleed.
Your time of the month once lasted a year.
Don’t love me no more now I’ve started my beer
Belly, I’m smelly. But Hey farting’s an art
So I’m dropping the bomb at night in the dark
And early morning when I’ve knicked the duvet.
Reciting in my sleep all the hookers I’ve paid.
Wake me up by peeing on my face BUT I like it!
Told me not to tell, so I put it in rhymes its
Not that I don’t listen, it’s just I don’t care.
Except when your angry in your underwear.
I’m always doing everything you tell me not to,
And all the rude things that the others won’t do.
They told you I’m no good, and damn were they right.
I’m bad meaning bad but my Jim will help Light
Your fire….
(oh no but I’m not going to sing??)

Knowing me…
Knowing you
A haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lyrics copyright D.J.Davies aka RUFMOUTH 3/2/2002 9.30am-10.20am. AH HA !!